


The Dinner

by YHF18



Category: Baseball RPF, Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Yuzuru and Javier are over for now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 07:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YHF18/pseuds/YHF18
Summary: Shohei and Yuzuru have dinner. Things happen. It is thrilling.





	The Dinner

The letter was something of a surprise, both in terms of its formality and its writer. They had met only once, at a public function almost a year ago. They had said some complimentary things to each other but that was the extent of it. In fact, if Yuzuru remembered correctly, Shohei had barely even looked at him, even if his words were polite, “I live in the Hanyu generation” he had said. “No, no, this is the Ohtani generation,” Yuzuru had protested. Platitudes but nothing beyond that. Afterwards, they had gone their separate ways. So the letter was something of a surprise.

_Dear Mr. Hanyu:_

_I enjoyed meeting you at the Asahi Big Sports Award Ceremony earlier this year. I will be in Toronto from October 31 - November 7. I hope you do not mind my writing, but I was hoping you would do me the honor of joining me for dinner on one of those nights. I understand you are busy, so I am at your disposal on any of those days. Evenings are preferable for me._

_I know you must get frequent inquiries and requests from many people and fans, so if my invitation is an imposition, or if you are simply too busy, please do not hesitate to decline._

_Sincerely,_

_Shohei Ohtani_

\-----

Yuzuru found a way to pass on his LINE number to Shohei so they could more efficiently make arrangements. Yuzuru had chosen October 31. Shohei had chosen 5:30 pm, preferring early dinners. They had both agreed that Shohei’s hotel suite would work best for privacy and logistical reasons. Yuzuru insisted that he would provide dinner, as Toronto was his home and therefore Shohei was his guest.

The promise to make dinner arrangements he regretted right away. Yuzuru was unused to thinking about food, much less food for a guest he barely knew. He thought of asking his mother, but she would most certainly inquire who it was for and he would most certainly have to tell her. So he decided himself. He would order a nine course Kaiseki dinner from one of his favorite restaurants in Toronto. They normally didn’t allow take out, but he talked to the owner personally and was assured that they would be able to work things out and deliver dinner directly to the hotel.

The promise to show up he regretted as soon as he arrived at the hotel. Yuzuru felt surprisingly nervous, not knowing what to expect. He supposed it was because he didn’t go out that much, even casually with friends. But this did not feel casual and Shohei was not a friend. He was still jittery when Shohei opened the door. Yuzuru had forgotten how physically imposing he was. Yuzuru was tall for a skater, so it was not often he was around someone who made him feel small. He instinctively stood on his toes and stuck out his hand. Nice to meet you again, hope your flight here was comfortable etc.

As he was accustomed to do when he was nervous, Yuzuru kept talking. And Shohei kept listening, smiling shyly. Yuzuru looked at that open, doughy face and thought, fuck my life, what did I get myself into. Of all the invitations I had to accept, what possessed me to accept this one? I’ll just keep talking all through the nine course dinner and he’ll just keep nodding. I should have just ordered a burger, fries and a strawberry shake, seems more his thing, dinner would have been over with in 15 minutes and I could’ve just gone home and leave him to drool into his Doraemon comics.

At some point though, Yuzuru realized that Shohei had gone for some time without nodding, and was just sitting there quietly looking at him. His first thought was, I’ve read about this before in a textbook, what was that animal? Horses, yes, horses sleep standing up with their eyes open. Maybe Shohei is like a horse. Oh lucky break. Maybe I can sneak out now. But Yuzuru wanted to make sure, so he said quietly, “You haven’t said anything.”

“Why are you whispering?”

Shit, I must have woken him up, Yuzuru thought, but instead he cleared his throat and said, “You haven’t said anything. Are you thinking anything?”  

“I was just marvelling at how you are able to find things to say for every occasion, whatever the audience, whether it’s the emperor, TV interviewers or someone you’ve just met. Do you change what you say, or just the honorifics?”

Yuzuru looked at him curiously. The question was surprisingly pointed. He didn’t know what to make of it.

Sensing his confusion, Shohei smiled, “I didn’t mean that critically. I myself always have trouble thinking of what to say outside of the context of baseball. Sometimes it seems you can choose to be a robot and make everyone happy or reveal a little of yourself and inevitably offend. You’re very good at skirting that line most of the time.”

Those were very many words, placed in the right order. Yuzuru thought maybe he was hallucinating. Maybe he was still talking to himself.  

Shohei continued undeterred, “But sometimes I wonder whether you must get tired of being on your toes all the time, knowing people will scrutinize your every word and action.”

Having recovered by this time, Yuzuru nodded, “It does. I think that’s why I need so much time alone. When I’m around other people outside of my family, my mind is always racing. I think about what their intentions might be, who else is listening or watching, what words I can use, what thoughts I can share. But I’ve learned to regulate myself, even in casual conversation."

“Are you regulating yourself now?”

“Not right now.”

“Did this get harder or easier when you moved to Toronto?”

“In some ways it got easier. I couldn’t speak English and they don’t speak Japanese so there was nothing to regulate. And I find that with North Americans, you can just smile, laugh and nod and they will just pat your head and leave you alone to do whatever you want.”

Shohei laughed warmly and Yuzuru thought that he liked the sound of it.

“I’m thinking of going overseas to play.”

“Is that why you’re here, in Toronto?”

“In part. Many people think I should wait a few years though. For more money.”

“Is that important to you?”

“No. I want to take care of the people who are close to me, but it’s not important to me personally. I feel like as athletes, we have just a finite amount of time to be what we want, to reach the limits of our potential. I don’t want to waste that time thinking about money.”

“As skaters our time is even more finite.”

“This has been a tough year for you, with your injuries.”

Yuzuru was taken aback but flattered. Shohei had been keeping track. They were interrupted by a loud knock; dinner had arrived. They decided to sit on the floor to eat, using the coffee table. And as the dishes were being set out, Yuzuru had time to collect himself. He watched with newfound interest as Shohei struggled to curl his bulky legs to fit comfortably under the coffee table. Yuzuru laughed and suggested that they move the table to the side so Shohei could stretch out his legs.

And so they sat on the floor talking, with their backs against the base of the couch, eating the intricately prepared dishes that neither one of them took much interest in. Yuzuru had never been with anyone his age who had such a clear vision of what he wanted to do with his career. Except for himself, of course, but where Yuzuru was sometimes reckless and stubborn, Shohei seemed measured, controlled and patient. He had to be, he said, if he wanted to both pitch and hit and still remain healthy. It was a different brand of determination than Yuzuru was used to, but he had to admit that he could respect it.

Yuzuru was also surprised by how much Shohei knew about him. He’d asked him about skating, about his programs, about his Let’s Go Crazy costume. At one point, he asked about Javier.

“Your rinkmate...Javier Fernandez. Are you guys friends?”

“In a way.”

“What do you mean, ‘in a way’?”

“Yes and no. You know how it is, you don’t quite look at rivals the way you would look at a friend who’s not a rival, no matter how much affection you have for them.”

“So there is affection?”

He chuckled uncomfortably, not knowing how to answer.  

Shohei hesitated but continued, “There are many pictures on the internet. And videos.”

“You’ve been researching.”

“Yes. I’ve done some research.”

“And what have you concluded?”

“That there is affection.”

They both laughed at this. Yuzuru liked him, he sincerely did. And to be honest, he had never allowed anyone to get this far into his relationship with Javier, especially someone he’d just met. He was usually adept at splitting hairs, revealing a sliver of the truth but not all of it. Yuzuru had never encountered a situation like this before, however, where possibly against his better judgment, he wanted to be truthful. Where he somehow knew that the truth was important to his dinner companion, not just as a piece of gossip, but perhaps as something more personal. And he knew that if he weren’t truthful, that their relationship would go no further than this light, pleasing conversation. He didn’t know Shohei very well, but this much he understood - that he was a man of clear rules and that one of them was that he did not like to be toyed with, viewed it as equal to if not worse than being lied to. Because half-truths were deceptive, meant to confuse and discombobulate; they were grey areas, which Shohei hated more than dark areas.

So Yuzuru had to make a choice and against his better judgment he said, “Yes, he is important to me. We have been many things to each other, but for now, he is just my rinkmate and competitor.”

“For now?”

“We’ve had a long history with many ups and downs. He’s currently seeing someone so there is nothing for now.”

“So it wasn’t your choice?”

“I chose not to be with him because it is not good for my career - or his - for that matter. He chose to move on with someone else.”

There was a long silence until Shohei said simply, “Thank you for entrusting me with that. There are many things we have to give up to get where we are. I understand that.”

Wanting to change the subject but also sincerely desiring to learn more about this forthright, dignified man, Yuzuru asked, “What have you given up?”

Shohei smiled, “Well, I’m still young, so it’s not like I’ve accumulated a lifetime of regrets and self-denial. I don’t want to overstate things. But I think I’ve structured my life so that I don’t have certain temptations. I’ve never lived alone. Even now, when I can afford my own place, I choose to live in the dormitory with other players, where there are always people around, always people watching and listening, so I am forced to focus on baseball.”

“But we are human and have imaginations that extend far beyond our immediate temptations.”  

“Yes, you’re right. And with athletes, it is when we’re boxed in that we are at our most resourceful. I’ve seen that in you. I’ve admired it.”

“You’re too kind. You’re like that too. I remember you in that game against --” But before Yuzuru could pay a similar compliment, Shohei interrupted with a knowing guffaw. Yuzuru demanded, “What are you laughing about? I don’t know why you think that’s funny. I’m sure other people have said similar things to you.”

Shohei eyed him carefully and said, “I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing at myself.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been resourceful in other ways too, not just baseball.”

“Okay. You seem awfully proud of yourself, so I’ll ask because it seems you want to tell me.”

“Yes. I want to tell you. I got you here, didn’t I? You’re sitting here in my room, talking to me.”

Yuzuru, who was usually so quick-thinking didn’t register it at first and Shohei enjoyed watching his face move from bewilderment to astonishment before finally settling, much to Shohei’s relief, on delight.

“I don’t know why you’re so proud of yourself. You took almost a year.”

“I hadn’t planned on your getting injured. I knew you would be in no mood to talk to me until you recovered. But I am a patient man.”

“You didn’t even look at me when we met. When I watched the show afterwards, I was embarrassed by how much I looked at you and how you were just avoiding me.”

“I couldn’t look at you. You make me nervous.”

“Make?”

“Yes, make.”

“You? The big tough baseball player, the next Babe Ruth? What are you afraid of?” Yuzuru’s voice was taunting, playful as he moved closer to where Shohei was sitting, “Are you afraid I’ll do this?” He placed his hand suggestively on Shohei’s wide, muscular chest which stiffened under his touch.

Yuzuru sat up a little on his knees so that their faces were level, “Are you afraid of this?” He slid his hand slowly to the nape of Shohei’s neck and gently stroked it. Shohei seemed to melt into Yuzuru’s increasingly firm and exploring hand, but his gaze was unyielding and he didn’t move.

Are you afr ---” At this, Shohei caught Yuzuru firmly by the wrist and said cooly, much to Yuzuru’s excitement, “I should mention that your talking also makes me nervous. So I’ll need for you to shut up now.” With that Shohei hooked his free arm around Yuzuru, gripped him with a broad hand that almost covered the small of his back and in one fluid motion, lifted him onto his lap. Much to Yuzuru's surprise, Shohei was slow and deliberate and seemed to know exactly what he wanted, first focusing on unbuttoning the top few buttons of Yuzuru’s shirt, delicately shifting it so that his shoulder was exposed. Then he took his time just kissing, licking, biting, sucking his shoulders and neck, with such raw and unvarnished desire, Yuzuru feared he would be consumed.  

And when they finally kissed, Yuzuru found that Shohei liked not just kissing him, but spent considerable time touching his mouth, tracing his lips with his thumb as if trying to figure something out. “Your smiles,” he said “are never the same. Your lips change shape like some kind of mischievous demon. But I like it best, when they are settled like this, waiting for me, wanting me.” His thumb was still on Yuzuru’s lower lip, but he leaned in so close, Yuzuru could feel his breath on his mouth. It was unexpectedly thrilling, intoxicating.

Yuzuru stayed until 4 am the next morning, but they did no more than kiss and make out, much to Yuzuru’s disappointment and satisfaction. He and Javier had been together for so long that he had forgotten how exhilarating it was just to kiss and explore the taste of another person, to be touched in unfamiliar ways, to feel the weight of another person’s body, to be surprised and a little afraid, but also unreservedly joyous. There was no history here to complicate things, no sense of grievance. There was time enough for that.

Before he left, Shohei had said, “This is not just a one time thing for me. I’m not that kind of person. I don’t want you to walk out that door and forget about me.” Yuzuru only kissed him in response, but how could he forget. He was not that kind of person either. Even in the cab ride home, he felt a lingering breath on his face, an invisible hand tenderly stroking his neck and shoulders, which he reached for unconsciously.

  



End file.
